The past few months have been exceptionally hard on me as a dog mom. I shared news awhile back that my sweet Pug, Bianca, was dealing with an illness similar to Lou Gehrig’s Disease where her body sort of just quit working for her. It became fairly obvious that it was Bianca’s time to go and I made the painful decision to have her put to sleep. I spent time grieving and preparing and made sure her last days were as incredible as they could have been.

But then…

Days—and I do mean just days—later, my heart was broken again. I thought my other dog, Eddie, a Chug (Pug/Chihuahua mix) was mad at me and missing Bianca. What I wasn’t expecting was for him to be just as sick as Bianca.

I had all of these big plans for Eddie and me. We were going to take walks and go to the park together. I fully expected to have another 3-4 more years with him. So when he started acting as if he had cognitive issues and ended up with a high fever, I rushed him to the emergency vet. The outlook was grim.

He stayed in the hospital for days, and when I eventually brought him home after steroids brought his fever down but didn’t help in any other ways, I realized I had no choice. My sweet Eddie, who I had help bounce back from Parvo as a puppy—who I knew was fighter—just couldn’t fight it in his old age.

Within two weeks after Bianca was gone, so was Eddie. And I was devastated.

I’m still hurting.

As a die-hard dog mom, I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it through those days after Eddie was gone. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Bianca and Eddie had been with me for 12 years, through some of the hardest days of my life. They were there in moments where I wasn’t sure I could make it. They kept me going. And suddenly, they were gone.

Then I met Ady.

I wasn’t sure I was ready to begin fostering. But somehow, in my heartbreak and grief, my gut told me to go look at foster dogs. I had so many reservations, wondering if I had space in my heart, thinking it was too soon, fearful that I was trying to replace Eddie and Bianca. But I didn’t know what else to do.

When Always and Furever Midwest Animal Sanctuary in Spring Hill, KS got in touch with me about fostering dog that had been bred and abused, I agreed to take her in.

Ady is a Pocket Pitbull—a mini version of a Pit—with the sweetest temperament. I was used to my Pugs, who barked nonstop, and who took up very little space. Ady is a quiet, sturdy little lady who just wants to be snuggled.

After a few weeks of fostering, I realized Ady was supposed to be mine and have since adopted her, officially. I never expected to be a pittie mom, especially not long after losing my beloved pets. But anyone who knows me probably knows things have happened just the way they were supposed to. Despite my broken heart, Ady is filling it up with love.